13 Nisan 2014 Pazar

The Effects of Watching Too Much Television-Cause and Effect Essay1-First Draft

                                                    Feyzanur Öztürk 
                                                    April 12, 2014

                                            The Effects of Watching Too Much Television
     Television which is an indispensable part of the life is one of the best inventions in history of the humanity. In early years, only affluent family belong television, but it is almost every house now. Television’s harms are so much when it is compared with its benefits. To tell the truth, TV is also as addictive as cigarette, drug or alcohol. It includes TV series, TV shows and cartoons, and people watch them because of a lot of reasons. Watching too much TV causes some problems which are the psychology of children and adults, communication and social, and physical.
     The first effect of watching too much TV is about the psychology of children and adults. People watch TV to stifle their loneliness, spend time or enjoy. People try to overcome the lack of emotion that they cannot experience in real life by watching TV. The epitome of this is TV series. For instance, people who have a monotony life watch TV series that exciting scenes to get excited. People who want to enjoy watch sitcom or reality show. Some of them watch documentary or sports. Thanks to television they get a great amount of information. Television gives us opportunities to see the best actors, sport matches, to learn famous people’s lives.   TV brings the world to their room and they become addicted it unwittingly. TV helps us to relax after a hard day work, but the news makes us annoyed and bored. On the other hands, watchers see people in country and in other lands, and learn of their cultures, opinions. People can be affected these different cultures or opinions. They want to change their cultures and opinions, but they don’t know whether it is right because everything seems different in television. Television causes to kill brain’s cells and undermine thinking ability. Especially, television affects children. Cartoons may include violence and fictional characters in there. Children might emulate and try dangerous movements. In last years, there had been an incident which was made the news. A child is affected a fiction character which can fly and jump from balcony. Also, these incidents carry weight with families.  They shouldn’t allow their children to watch too much TV.
     Other effects of watching too much television are communication and social. TV dominates the life of the family most of time. The TV set isn't just a piece of furniture. It's someone who is ‘one of the family members’.  When family come together and they watch TV instead of talking each other. That leads lack of communication among family members. For example, my father is exactly an addict of TV. Even if our quests come, he doesn’t turn-off it. If there is noise, he warns children and asks them to go the other room. This attitude of him bothers us. Actually I was also an addict of TV who spent at least 10 hours in front of TV to watch anything that I could find. I would not go outside to catch TV series on time.  That situation had caused that I became an asocial person. I haven’t watch TV hardly ever in these days because I can follow my TV series when I want on the Internet and I don’t feel addictive to TV myself.  
      The last effect of watching too much TV is physical. That people watch TV at close distance result in visual impairment. If people watch TV lying down or sitting quite a while, their back or neck might be in pain. Watching TV too much can cause brain to compromise so eating disorder is occurred. While people are watching TV, they don’t want to prepare meal and eat junk-food. They damage their health unwittingly. Generally, children have visual impairment due to watching TV at close distance not adults. They suffer from headache or backache. Both children and adults have eating disorder because of television.
    To sum up, nowadays whole generations are growing addicted to the televisions. In past, people used to have hobbies, to meet friends, to go to the cinemas or to the theatre and sporting events, to read books or to listen to the music, but now they just sit and watch TV. There are television’s benefits and harms, but its harms are so much. Although people watch it due to different reasons, they are affected the same effects. They can experience psychological and social problems or among their family members can be a lack of communication. There might be occurred some health problems. Consequently, television should be watched consciously. 


                                                                OUTLINE
Thesis statement: Watching too much TV causes some problems which are the psychology of children and adults, communication and social, and physical.
1)The first effect of watching too much TV is about the psychology of children and adults.
   1.1) Why people watch TV
   1.2) Television’s effects on the psychology of adults and children
2) Other effects of watching too much television are communication and social.
   2.1) Lack of communication among family members.
   2.3) Being an asocial person
3)The last effect of watching too much TV is physical.
   3.1) Causing visual impairment
   3.2) Suffering from headache or backache
   3.3) Eating disorder because of television
 Conclusion statement: Consequently, television should be watched consciously.

3 yorum:

  1. 1-) In early years, only affluent family belong(wrong word) television (paragraph 1, line 2)

    2-) but it is almost (preposition is missing) every house now. (paragraph 1, line 3)

    3-) People watch TV to stifle(wrong word) their loneliness, (paragraph 2, line 2)

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  2. 1)In early years, only affluent family belong television,(check the verb)
    2) it is almost (missing prep.) every house now.
    3) TV helps us to relax after a hard day work (check the order of adj. compliment)
    4) Television causes to kill(wrong word) brain’s cells
    5) When family come together and they watch TV instead of talking each other.(where is main clause?)
    6) I haven’t watch TV hardly ever in these days (tense error)
    7) Watching TV too much can cause( can it be missing verb) brain to compromise so eating disorder is occurred
    8) Although people watch it due to different reasons, they are affected the same effects.( Is it true to use both affected and effect)

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  3. 1) Thanks to television they get a great amount of information.---> punctuation
    2) Other effects of watching too much television are communication and social ---> revise this sentence
    3) If there is noise, he warns children and asks them to go the other room.---> missing a preposition

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